Funny sig line
Human milk for little humans. Cow milk for baby cows. Soy milk for baby soys.
“What?! No School Today?”
Top 10 Answers You Should NEVER Give to the Question “What?! No School Today?”
10. Well, normally yes, but this time of year I need help with the planting and plowing.
9. Goodness, no!!! I graduated 18 years ago, but thanks for the compliment!
8. No, we homeschool. We’re just out to pick up a bag of pork rinds and some Mountain Dew, then we gotta hurry home to catch our soaps.
7. What?! Where did you guys come from?! I thought I told you to stay at school! I’m sorry. This happens all the time. (sigh)
6. There isn’t? Why, you’d think we’d see more kids out then, don’t you?
5. We’re on a field trip studying human nature’s intrusive and assumptive tactics of displaying ignorance and implied superiority. Thanks for the peek!
4. On our planet we have different methods of education. (Shhh! No, I didn’t give it away…keep your antennae down!)
3. Oh my goodness! I thought that today was Saturday…come on kids, hurry!
2. Noooooope. Me ‘n Bubba jes’ learns ‘em at home. Werks reel good!
And the number one answer we should NEVER give to the question: “What? No school today?”
1. “What? No Bingo today?”
http://heartofwisdom.com/artman/publish/article_161.shtml
Answer to the
You Know You’re A Homeschool Mom When…
When a child busts a lip, and after seeing she’s okay, you round up some Scotch tape to capture some blood and look at it under the microscope.
You find dead animals and actually consider saving them to dissect later.
Your children never, ever leave the “why?” stage.
You look at every room in your home to try and imagine how to squeeze in another bookshelf.
You turn your china cabinet into book shelves.
When your teenager decides to take one community college course, and comes home and asks you why the teacher wrote “At” on his paper. (A+)
You ask for, and get, a copier instead of a diamond tennis bracelet for your wedding anniversary.
Your kids think reading history is best accomplished while lying on the floor with their head resting on the side of their patient dog.
Your husband can walk in at the end of a long day and tell how the science experiment went just by looking at the house.
You never have to drive your child’s forgotten lunch to school.
Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers after PE.
The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it is to cook.
You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child’s side or the teacher’s side in a dispute at school.
If your child gets drugs at school, it’s probably Tylenol.
Your neighbors think you are insane.
Your kids learn new vocabulary from their extensive collection of “Calvin & Hobbes” books.
Your formal dining room now has a computer, copy machine, and many book shelves and there are educational posters and maps all over the walls.
You have meal worms growing in a container….on purpose.
If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you’re having a PTA meeting.
Talking out loud to yourself is a parent/teacher conference.
You take off for a teacher in-service day because the principal needs clean underwear.
You can’t make it through a movie without pointing out the historical inaccuracies.
You step on math manipulatives on your pre-dawn stumble to the bathroom.
The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and no one gossips.
Your honor student can actually [I]read [/I]the bumper sticker that you put on your car.
If your child claims that the dog ate his homework, you can ask the dog.
Someday your children will consider you to be a miracle-working expert and will turn to you for advice.
Your kids refer to the neighbor kids as “government school inmates.”
You can’t make it through the grocery produce department without asking your preschooler the name and color of every vegetable.
You can’t put your produce in your cart without asking your older student to estimate its weight and verify its accuracy.
You live in a one-house schoolroom.
Shea butter for leather shoes
I got turkey grease on my new leather shoes. They wouldn’t come out. So what I did was buff them with shea butter. They are better than new - they are beautiful!
Just a tip 
Fluoride
http://www.newstarget.com/021115.html
Commentary by Mike Adams, the creator of this cartoon:
The fluoride issue is, in my opinion, a “sanity test” for anyone who claims to know anything about health. As I will explain here, all the dentists, doctors and government health authorities who actually promote the fluoridation of public water supplies are nothing less than clinically insane.
How do I know? Because I know where this so-called “fluoride” comes from. Cities actually buy the stuff from coal plants and chemical manufacturers, where it would normally have to be disposed of as a toxic waste chemical if it wasn’t sold to towns and cities to be dumped into the water supply. This fluoride byproduct of chemical processing is so toxic that it’s a violation of environmental laws to dump it into any river. Yet it’s somehow perfectly legal to feed it to infants, children, adults and senior citizens who are drinking from the public water supply. Interesting, huh? It’s so toxic that it kills fish, but dentists want your babies to drink it.
The entire pro-fluoride argument lacks a single shred of scientific evidence showing any benefit whatsoever to the mass consumption of the fluoride chemical. Essentially, the leaders in dentistry and medicine simply invented a myth about fluoride and dental health, then invested their careers and egos in the desperate defense of this myth, even as the scientific evidence clearly shows increased rates of hip fractures, fluorosis and even cancer from fluoride consumption.
The claims about fluoride essentially make it a drug according to FDA regulations, yet this “drug” has never been approved as a treatment or cure for dental caries by the FDA. Furthermore, can you think of any other drug that is mass-medicated to the entire population with no diagnosis, no medical oversight and no patient follow-up whatsoever? It’s like dumping Prozac into the water supply and saying, “Everyone is depressed and needs their brain chemistry balanced.” A silly idea, of course, but it’s essentially the same as dumping fluoride into the water supply.
Of course, any use of reason, logic or genuine science is not allowed in the fluoride debate. Dentists, doctors and health authorities viciously defend the indiscriminate fluoridation of all humans with the ferocity of rabid pack dogs. For any sane person to even suggest that perhaps industrial waste chemicals should not be dumped into public water supplies is to invite a wild-eyed verbal assault by dentists so filled with ignorance and froth that you would think you were insulting the false gods of some outdated superstition from eons past. Which, of course, is exactly what fluoridation is: superstition.
Any perceived health benefit of mass fluoridation is nothing more than persistent myth, desperately defended by the most irrational, unscientific and easily offended members of modern society — who all happen to reside in some branch of medicine, by the way. These myth pushers claim to base their support of dumping toxic chemicals into the water supply based on so-called “scientific evidence” that they can never quite produce. The only evidence they have is the circular-logic statements of various dentists quoting each other in some sort of deviant doctoral blabbing contest. Meanwhile, they selectively ignore any real evidence from scientific studies showing the damaging effects of fluoride.
Selective censorship of reality is, of course, the very foundation of modern dentistry — an industry that exists in such blatant denial of reality that it continues to implant some 34 metric tons of mercury — one of the most toxic substances to human and environmental health — into the mouths of dental patients each year. All while calling it perfectly safe, of course.
Mercury is perfectly safe, they all proclaim. And so is fluoride. And, come to think of it, there’s no such thing as any chemical too dangerous to put in the mouths or stomachs of patients as long as your dentist says so. And while we’re at it, don’t forget to have your wisdom teeth surgically removed — yet another medically useless procedure that’s been scientifically shown to be utterly worthless according to the British Medical Journal. I, for one, still have all my wisdom teeth, and nearly every time I see a new dentist, the idiot insists that I have them surgically removed even though they are entirely asymptomatic (i.e. nothing’s wrong with them).
All this explains why the fluoride question is such an effective sanity test. Anyone who genuinely supports the disposal of toxic fluoride chemicals via public waterways is not merely a fool and a danger to themselves; they are a danger to society and should probably be locked away in some sort of institution where crazy people can bang their heads against the walls until their mercury fillings fall out. There, at least, they won’t harm anybody else.
Fortunately, there are a growing number of sane dentists and doctors in the world. One of the leading organizations in this regard is the IAOMT. Watch their “Smoking Teeth” video if you want to learn the truth about mercury fillings, or read their Position on Fluoridation to hear what sane, intelligent dentists have concluded about mass fluoridation practices.
And if you still have mercury fillings in your mouth, get them removed by a dentist who specializes in mercury removal. Be sure to take plenty of chlorella and Jon Barron’s Metal Magic tincture before and after any such procedure to minimize the amount of fluoride that gets into your body during removal.
Finally, if your dentist continues to push fluoridation and mercury fillings (they call them “silver fillings” to hide the fact that they’re made with mercury), fire the idiot and find yourself a new dentist who runs a more natural health oriented practice. Natural dentistry is a growing practice. And it’s no mystery why. The American Dental Association, in my opinion, remains stuck in the Dark Ages. I can’t wait for the day when they finally reverse their support of fluoride and mercury and join the rest of the sane people in the world who have long since figured out that toxic chemicals do not belong in the human body.
This is not complicated, folks. I think that perhaps the only reason anyone still supports fluoride or mercury is because their brains have been affected by the chemicals.
And yes, by the way, it’s true that people who handle fluoride have to wear chemical suits, just as shown in this comic. If you drop a bottle of pure fluoride and inhale the fumes or get some on your skin, it can kill you.